redrighthanded | IC; Duplicity Inbox

I know. It wouldn't be fair on either of you.

[And he hates the fact the city has done this, made life hard for them, hurt two people he cares about, two people that despite having different natures, could have gotten along very well. He knows that it might well be a selfish desire, to see his friends all get along, to be at the center of something supportive and good for once, and with Vrenille and Hellboy meeting as they had, he'd hoped there could be more like that.

But the city had put pay to that.

He settles, quietly for a moment, listening to Hellboy's words and the beat of his heart, the familiar noises of the room, the drip of some leak in the roof, the wind against the wind, the wooden floor creak as it expanded and contracted with the cold. It might be a dump, but he wasn't ready to give it up.

But Hellboy's next words have Jacob sitting up in bed, the very thought of it making his blood boil and rage course through him, unable to believe that he's just heard. ]

Put you down? Like a dog? Kill you?

Whoa, hey -- [ Hellboy reaches out with his left hand, seeking Jacob's arm as the younger man starts up. He didn't expect him to take that comment well, but there's a weary practicality in his gaze as he studies Jacob in the midnight gloom. ]

Doesn't have to kill me. But yeah, maybe. [ He says the words like they're easy, a cold hard reality he's faced before and will do so again. ] You saw what happened, Jacob. You know what I did to him. And I can't do that again, you understand?

[ He lifts his right hand up off the bed a little. ] If someone else can control me here -- if they wanted this. They could pull down all sorts of crap on everyone here. They could end everything. The whole world. I'm not going to let that happen. Anduin is powerful enough to end it before it gets there.

[ He searches Jacob's expression, his glowing golden eyes not giving anything away, opaque and otherworldly. He wonders if the younger man has been kidding himself about being with someone just the other side of human rather than someone who's a whole world away from that. Who is something else entirely. But this is a truth all three of them need to face, sooner or later. ]

I don't need you to understand, sweetheart. But I need you to know that's what's going on.

[ Jacob looks at him, hard, jaw set but he doesn't move away from the warm hand that settles on him, doesn't fight away from the reality of the words. He saw, he saw the aftermath too, stayed with Anduin even if his heart was actually with Hellboy, wherever he'd gone in the cold dark hours. Whatever he'd put himself through before they'd both found their way back here. And Jacob knows he will never, ever make peace with himself for not having gone back to Hellboy, for staying with Anduin instead, but he'd been unable to rip himself in half to watch over both of them. Hellboy would have told him to go to Anduin, and so he had, but he knows it was not the decision he wanted to make.

His eyes don't even flicker when the stone hand lifts from the thin mattress, they don't leave Hellboy's face, trying to understand. He can't, because he doesn't know, he hasn't been told what the real story is behind that hand, what Hellboy's fate is supposed to be apart from some sort of doom-bringer. He's removed enough from the facts that they make no impact on him, and even if he knew them, it wouldn't make a difference. Maybe Anastasia knew, maybe she had all the facts, and saw beyond them anyway, to this man who deserved love and kindness just as everyone else does, or maybe she didn't, and loved him because she saw who he was.

As he looks into Hellboy's eyes, if Hellboy looks into his, maybe he can see the waiver in them, the water gathering in them, the hurt in his heart. Jacob has never, at any point, been able to keep a bloody thing he cared for. His mother, his grandmother, Pearl, the man he thought Roth was, that damn bird, his freedom. He has lost every single thing he felt he could keep ahold of, and he won't allow something else to be taken from him. He won't let it come to that.

He doesn't say the words, because Hellboy will tell him no, will tell him that it has to be this one way. As an assassin, Jacob knows that the death of one saves the lives of many, and he has resorted to it so many times over the last decade. But those people were evil people, people who saw others as things that needed to be controlled, people who saw others as a way to gain power and wealth. People who, in short, did not see others as people at all.

And Hellboy is someone that for so long so many didn't consider a person.

It takes a moment of slow, deep breaths to try and get himself under control, to let the blood return to his fingers where he's squeezed his knuckles white, not to let the tears escape. Eventually, he swallows all of that, trusts his voice not to tremble. ]

I won't lose you.

[ It's not what he wants, at all, that crumpling and tightening of Jacob's expression, the drawing in of something that's usually so free and easy for him. It seems to run through the younger man like he's the one with the mortal wound, like something vital is draining out of him, leaving raw cold pain behind. It feels like a loss, even as it's a clear indication of something being built.

Heart aching in sympathy, emotions knotted in his chest, Hellboy holds his gaze. He recognises the core of loneliness that has appeared in small ways during their time together, the grief that keeps Jacob fighting when he'd otherwise give up, the sorrow that had brought him to tears when he'd told him he was worth more than a fuck to be thrown away. It reminds him of being a kid again, always on the outside looking in, gripping so hard to what little he had that the thought of letting it go was impossible. ]

Hey. Jacob. [ He reaches up to set his palm against Jacob's cheek. ] I'm not going anywhere if I can help it. I'm gonna fight as hard as I can so it doesn't have to happen.

I know.

[ He lets out a breath as the hand rests against his cheek, and he lets the words ease the fare of pain and anger. He knows Hellboy wouldn't just curl up and die, that he would fight and keep fighting if there was any hope left. It's something to hold on to, and Jacob will do. He knows Anduin too, that Anduin wouldn't go to that extreme unless there was no other options.

So he lets himself relax, unfurl a little, and moves back down to nestle up against Hellboy's side, trying to settle himself again, trying to move beyond that stone in his stomach, to settle down again. Hellboy was trying to sleep, and he should try to himself, once the air is clear.]

Are we alright? About the contract?

[ It's not mended. That much is clear by the tension still set in Jacob's shoulders and the way he seems to gather himself before settling back down. But Hellboy doesn't know what else to do, what else he can offer besides the inevitable truth.

He doesn't want to lie, and there aren't many words that can make "I have to die if it means everyone else survives" feel better. So he doesn't try to offer any, just lets his hand fall and gathers Jacob up again when he lies back down, his own expression still taut and shadowed, the tip of his tail twitching restlessly, unseen, above the floor. ]

What? Oh. Yeah. [ He lets out a breath and tries to push all the other stuff aside. ] Yeah, that's alright. As long as you're okay.

[ It's not an easy thing to get over, not in the space of a few moments, probably not in a few weeks or months. Maybe not ever. Jacob can understand the concept of killing someone in order to better the world, it's what he fights against every day back home. But knowing that someone good, someone you care about, might unwittingly be a weapon like that? It's hard to accept and even harder to acknowledge Hellboy's plan might be the right one.

But for the moment, Jacob feels like the time that decision might have to be made is a long, long way away. There's no point in lingering on it. It's just another thing that reinforces how he feels about this place. Whoever is making these things happen, bringing these things about? He has to remove them.

Not just for everyone else here, but for far more selfish reasons.]

Me? I'll be alright. I'm much tougher than you give me credit for.

[ Hellboy can't blame him for the defensiveness of those words. It's not an easy thing to grapple with, especially when you're the kind of person used to solving problems, as he thinks Jacob is. He brushes his thumb over the younger man's shoulder, studying what he can see of his expression. ]

I know. I mean more.. if this guy hurts you, I'm gonna be paying him a call.

You are, without a shadow of a doubt, a true gent.

[Jacob laughs, the last little bit of tension unwinding for a moment, and he turns his head just so he can press a kiss or three against Hellboy's hand.]

My brave and handsome protector, defending my virtue. Anduin won't hurt me, and if he did, it wouldn't be his intention.

[ Hellboy snorts, amused, at that idea, pleased more by the fact that Jacob's still feeling affectionate than the idea of him being any sort of knight in shining armour. He rubs the backs of his knuckles against the younger man's whiskers, then lets his arm fall back at his side. ]

C'mere. [ He tips his head towards his own chest, indicating that Jacob should climb up on top of him if he wants, he knows he's a warm presence in the bed and he wants the younger man to spread himself out so he can get rid of that night-time chill still lingering on him. ] Lemme warm you up.

[ Jacob's affection doesn't wane as easily as all that, and considering what has come to pass already in the short time they've been in Duplicity, it's unlikely that it will do. No one can see the future of course, but Jacob is loyal and protective of those he cares about, unless they betray him. Hellboy has shown no indication that he will, and so Jacob will be at his side come what may.

He is feeling warmer now, shrugging off a layer as best he can as he moves to that favoured position against Hellboy, straddling the wider set of hips. ]

I thought you'd never ask.

That's more like it.

[ He all but purrs the words, pleased, though Jacob's till got a few too many layers on in Hellboy's opinion. Now they're back to a more relaxed place, he can feel those more chaste nights catching up with him. He rubs his palm over the younger man's hip and down the length of his thigh. ] Better?

A little bit...

[ It has been too long. Jacob has missed those hands on him, the heat that is something more than the natural warmth that radiates from Hellboy. He presses in closer still, fingers moving to the back of Hellboy's head and curling into his hair, pressing their mouths together.

The familiar taste of him, the press of his lips, it's a balm to all the troubles and worries that have piled in on him so heavily lately. As his other hand trails over Hellboy's chest, feeling the heartbeat hammer against his fingers. Its reassuringly strong, just like the rest of him.]

Need more skin touching. A lot more skin touching.

[ After so many years alone, arriving at Duplicity has felt a little like stumbling across an oasis in the desert, and Hellboy thinks he might be forgiven for feeling a little greedy. A grateful groan rises up the back of his throat when Jacob kisses him, his left hand tightening on the younger man's thigh as need and desire surge up through him.

He doesn't need to voice his agreement to Jacob's words, rolling his hips up instead underneath him as he leans up to capture his mouth again, ignoring the blankets sliding off onto the floor. ]

[The lift of Hellboy's hips is magnificent, a pressure against the back of his thighs just where he needs it, groaning against the other man's mouth before his hand moves further down, palming himself through the front of his trousers.

Along with the kiss? The familiarity of the room, the smell of the place- cigarettes and booze and damp and sweat and them? It's everything he misses when he doesn't have it, and it makes his body thrum with desire.]

[ It's useful that Hellboy doesn't tend to sleep in anything, though the slide of Jacob's clothed ass over his bare skin is good enough to be frustrating. Between increasingly desperate kisses, he hooks a fingertip into the waistband of his pants and gives them a pointed tug before sliding his palm up under his shirt, seeking edges that will give way to skin underneath.

More touching indeed. He groans and reaches up above his head to wrap his right hand through the iron bars of the headboard, as if he needs something to hold on to just to ground him. ]

Off. [ He breathes the order against Jacob's mouth. ] Better be naked right now.

[ If he really lost himself to it, those iron bars wouldn't stand a chance, but Jacob doesn't think about that. Not when he has that command making his body hot and cold all over, anticipation making his movements a little less polished than normal. It's almost like he's drunk on the possibility of sex with Hellboy, intoxicated by what he's gone without.

So he strips, as best he can, pulling the shirt off and the t-shirt that's been under it, chest revealed, and then lifts himself up off Hellboy's lap to work on the jeans.]

I should have asked or else what?

[ Jacob says, although he's already working the trousers and boxers under neath off in one smooth motion. ]

[ Hellboy helps as much as he can from his reclining position, catching the edge of his shirt and pulling at it as Jacob shrugs it off, dropping it onto the floor. The closer they get to what he knows he wants, the more he regrets every inch of space between him and the younger man's body, tracing the curve and roll of his muscles as he breathes and shifts around with a hungry gaze.

As soon as he's clear of his pants, he reaches out to pull Jacob back down on top of him, groaning and exhaling sharply as skin meets skin. ]

Or I would.. woulda torn them off. [ He rumbles the answer as he lifts himself up a little to kiss and set his his teeth on Jacob's shoulder, raising his knees a little as he rocks his hard dick up between the younger man's thighs. ]

Don't have enough clothes to let you do that love.

[Even so, it's a damn appealing idea. There's something marvelous about Hellboy getting a bit wild and letting loose, and Jacob can't help but enjoy it when he does. He arches, groaning as lips and teeth catch his flesh and the shift of Hellboy's legs presses him closer still. There's hardly a gap between them now, and the heat of Hellboy's cock against his thighs does nothing but make his own dick twitch.

Strong pale fingers move over Hellboy's arm, reaching for the unstable nightstand, finding the packets of lube, and grabbing them. He has no idea if he got one or five, but he doesn't care. He drops them onto the sheets, grinding himself down again.]

Missed fucking around with you so much. No one in this town compares.

[ As eager as he is to fuck Jacob again, it's good like this, too, just having him rocking and sliding over his cock, the two of them moving together in building desperation. He's lazy enough and needy enough to not want to stop that yet, encouraging the roll of Jacob's hips with the slide of his left hand down his back, trying to find the perfect angle to get them both off. ]

That's 'cause they don't know what you need. [ He breathes the words over Jacob's skin, burying his face up against the side of his throat. His right hand grates over the iron bedstead as he grinds himself up against Jacob's leaning weight, his cock smearing wet between their bodies. ] How you oughta be treated.

[Jacob groans as Hellboy's warm breath cascades over his skin, his breath hitching as his head tips back, holding tight as he moves back against the other's hips. He doesn't need to be fucked, he can get off just from the rocking of their bodies together, from the way he's being held, from the fact it's Hellboy saying those things.

There is no doubt that those words do something to him, making him ache inside in a way that has nothing to do with the pleasure building in him. He leans back, smiling as he touches Hellboy's cheeks, fingers caressing his coarse whiskers.]

Not like you do huh?

[ As increasingly frantic as that need gnawing at him feels, Hellboy thinks he could linger here forever in the cool midwinter darkness, with Jacob's warm body leaning over him, exchanging body heat and soft touches. He groans softly as the younger man shifts his weight, then turns his head slightly to kiss those fingertips as they pass across his face. ]

Nope. [ His tone is boyishly declarative, possessive, offering no room for argument. ]

[And the declaration leaves Jacob chuckling, leaning in for another kiss, soft and slow, wordlessly confirming that it's all true. No one here knows him as Hellboy does. There are people he's slept with, people he's close to, and that's the same for Hellboy. But what passes between them is just them, even if others are witness to it. To no small degree, that's because Jacob thinks of Hellboy differently, there's part of him that is for Hellboy alone.

His hips move of their own accord, rocking against Hellboy, sinking gladly back into the familiar, loving the quiet strength and possession in the way Hellboy touches him. ]

Can I tell you something stupid?

[ Hellboy accepts that kiss gladly, lips parting a little to allow his tongue to slide against Jacob's as they move together, reaffirming something that feels true and correct in Hellboy's heart. In a distant part of his mind he still regrets hurting the younger man, and knows this might not be the first time they clash over what's necessary and painful, but he's happy to set that aside for now, to lose himself in the familiar sensations of Jacob's body against his.

His eyes have drifted closed and he leans up to continue kissing him even as the younger man pulls back a little, trailing his mouth over Jacob's jaw and down the side of his throat. ]

Sure. [ Distracted, he breathes the word against the young assassin's skin, his left hand sliding down to palm Jacob's backside as he rolls his hips up against him, rubbing against that delicious friction in the leaning weight of his inner thigh over him. ]

[ The headbutting is something normal, inevitable, whenever people spend time together. They aren't always going to agree, not even with the best will in the world. What's important is the intent, and Jacob doesn't doubt Hellboy's. He trusts him implicitly, despite the fact that doing so might be repeating a pattern. But Hellboy is different, at least so Jacob believes.

Hopefully, he's right this time. ]

If I was a dom I'd contract you in a heartbeat.

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